No Longer Celebrating
Some random days make us ugly cry.
Some specific dates are supposed to be dazzling celebrations; but they have now become petrifying inner living nightmares.
We can't help but to dive deeper and deeper into the abyss of our atrocious thoughts.
We remember not what we lost but what has been taken from us.
We literally see those abhorrent scenes playing right before our eyes. We can smell them.
We can remember every single details, words, threats, screams, spits, ... and we still have to endure them, to endure their consequences.
We are still not able to understand, and the feeling of injustice can only keep growing.
In those days, we don't only feel sad. We feel anxious. We feel scared. We feel dirty and humiliated. And we can't wash that off.
We do'nt know how long we are going to go through this inner ordeal. We don't know at what depth we are going to end up. Is it even going to end ?
Those dates are no longer celebrations. They embody the years that broke us.
And that is what hurts the most.
But still. Here we are fighting, battling and rising.